Table of Contents

About This Course

How to Take This Course

1. Essentials of Negotiating 1

Two Views of Negotiating

What Negotiating Is

Negotiating Is a Process

Negotiating Takes Place Between People

Negotiating Is About Needs

Every Negotiation Is Different

Sometimes It’s Easy and Sometimes It Ain’t

The Process, Or What’s Going On Here?

Who’s Across the Table?

What’s Going on over There?

What’s Going on over Here?

What’s Going on Between Us?

Three Negotiating Criteria

Negotiating Requires Willingness and Ability

The Importance of Being Flexible

Be Willing to Talk About Your Relationship

Be Willing to Change Your Process

Avoid Fixed Beliefs

Be Patient

The Objective: Meeting Needs

Understand Others’ Needs

Make It Easy for Others to Understand Your Needs

Accept that Needs Are Valid

The Five Basic Needs

Listen on Two Levels

Why Others Don’t Tell Us

Needs vs. Solutions

The Importance of Knowing the Rules

Knowing the Rules Gives Us Options

Negotiating Is a Process of Dissolving Blocks

Blocks Exist for a Reason

Use Others’ Energy for Your Mutual Advantage

The Sources of Our Blocks

Summary

Review Questions

2. How to Prepare for a Negotiation 21

The Objective in Preparing for a Negotiation

Step One: Prepare; Don’t React

Triggering Events Can Keep Us from Preparing

Use Triggering Events to Advantage in Preparing

Step Two: Get the Facts

Don’t Make False Assumptions

Facts Checklist

Explore the Data

We Both Need the Same Data

Step Three: Determine the Importance of the Current Situation

Measuring Importance Tells Us What We Need

Step Four: Clarify Needs and Distinguish Between Needs and Solutions

Step Five: Generate Multiple Options

What If We Don’t Know What to Do?

Step Six: Know the Other Party

Summary

Review Questions

3. You Get What You Believe 35

Perceptions and Beliefs

When We Believe that We Can

When We Believe that We Can’t

Others Mirror Our Beliefs

Our Beliefs Need to Be “For Real”

Beliefs Influence Our Negotiations

Where Do Our Beliefs Come From?

Beliefs Form a Filter System

Everyone Has a Unique Filter

Assume Different Perspectives

False Assumptions Can Lead to Righteous Positions

Self-limiting vs. Empowering Beliefs

Self-limiting Beliefs

Empowering Beliefs

Beliefs Create Boundaries

Show Stoppers

Scorekeeper Beliefs

Peacemaker Beliefs

“I Need to Prove Myself Beliefs

What to Do with Our Self-limiting Beliefs

Option One: Check Out the Data

Option Two: Get Input from Others

Option Three: Take It a Step at a Time

Option Four: Resolve Past Issues

Option Five: Take a Break

Summary

Review Questions

4. Identify and Remove the Blocks 57

Negotiating Equals Removing Blocks

Blocks Within Us

Beliefs that Stop Us

Negotiate Fears Up Front

Afraid They Will Get Angry

Enough Time?

Relationship Blocks

Relationships Need to Be Safe

Relationships Need to Be Respectful

Relationships Need to Be Resolved

Distinguish Between Problems and Conflicts

Process Blocks

Make It Safe

Make It Fair

Make It Effective

Blocks in Applicable Criteria

Lack of Established Standards

Disagreement About Validity of Established Criteria

Different Interpretations of Criteria

How to Prevent Criteria Blocks

Summary

Review Questions

5. Dealing with Difficult People 81

Our Objective in Dealing with Difficult People

Enforcers

Enforcer Assumptions

Enforcer Behaviors

How to Respond to Enforcers

Scorekeepers

Scorekeeper Behaviors

How to Respond to Scorekeepers

Peacemakers

Peacemaker Behaviors

How to Respond to Peacemakers

Rebel Producers

Rebel Producer Assumptions

Rebel Producer Behaviors

How to Respond to Rebel Producers

Summary

Review Questions

Bibliography

The First Examination

The Practice Case

The Practice Case Solution

The Examination Case

Selected Readings

Index